Today is the last day of 2013! Time passes really fast. How many last days of the year have I been through with you? :)
Anyway I am going to write down my resolutions here to reinforce the idea & to actually practice them!
1. $ave money, spend prudently (especially on food).
I am just damn bad with saving money because I have never really felt the need to have a solid reservoir of money just in case of "rainy days". In this sense, I am very much Americanised because the greatest proportion of my wealth is definitely spent on consumption.
Actually, I think I could survive on $6 on a normal school day, but I have no idea why I always end up spending $20+/day. This is a very bad habit that I have to change. I have to start managing my finances well. Starting from 2014, I can only spend $6/day! The remaining amount is going into the bank & nowhere else! This is like the most important resolution of all. I am going to be an adult soon & I need to act like one.
2. Act like a woman, not a girl.
- Speak like a lady
- Think twice before talking/acting
- Consider the feelings/welfare of the others
- Stop wearing potentially revealing clothes (I always wear & realise it later when I am moving around. My actions are much bigger than most people & that increases the chances of me exposing some things)
- (Speaking of which) Minimise unnecessary gestures
3. Be more helpful, genuine & less selfish
To say the truth, this is quite hard for me to attain because I honestly & generally don't give a fuck about other peoples' businesses. & I believe I am innately selfish. But I realised I can't behave like this because I have received help from unexpected people in unexpected situations. They are not obligated to help me but they did.
Receiving & giving is a two-way thing. It's time for me to give (more generously) as well. & I would remind myself to not expect anything in return because this should be the correct mindset of helping others. Altruistic, no hidden agendas. This way I'll be happier too. Saves me from all the potential disappointments from expecting too much.
4. Be a better daughter and friend
I will stop losing my temper so easily and stop screaming at my loved ones whom I take for granted. I feel so sorry towards mom & dad because they always pester me when I am super stressed & I always yell back at them. I need to be more cool-headed & communicate the message clearly so that they could understand my situation and talk to me at appropriate timings.
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Actually I will be very contented if I am able to achieve these 4 goals in the upcoming year. I would be so much more acceptable as a human being.
I seriously don't understand why I still manage to acquire a handful of good-quality friends given my sucky personality. I really can't think of any virtues I possess that makes me a worthy friend. The way I behave disgusts me. The thoughts I sometimes think disgust me even more. I feel so ugly inside.
Hopefully by rectifying my (uncountable) flaws, I will be able to accept myself, to love myself, & make other people feel that I am worthy of their love too.
2014 shall be a year which I can face myself & say, "you are beautiful, inside & out."
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